-Seventeen-[iii]

Heavy black eye shadow, black nails, punk glove, punk fringe, punk shoes, punk chains. What do I still haven't have.. hmm... I should put black toe nails too. Buy a black choker. Black ear darts. Big ones so that people can see. I saw someone talk about anime freaks like me. They call it 'otaku'. lol. Sounds funny.

I drawn a cartoon-like of Tom and Bill Kaulitz gonna post it up soon. They're just so cute to me.

I lost most of my exercise books for school. I left it in the school drain in my stupid lab classroom. I really hate losing stuff like that. It felt not worth it. Really really regreted why did I kept forgetting to take them home. Now I have to waste money to buy new ones and copy all the previous homework. The other girls who lost them didn't give a damn. I asked them what would they do. They gave me a wierd expression. Meaning they didn't even think of what would happen.

I finally made my choice not to see what are they going to do and do it my way. Waiting for them to do something would take a century more.

As for [XX], no more mister nice guy. I was always trying to be nice to you so that we could at least be friends again. Too bad.. I have woken up from my stupidity. No more. You show me your stupid look again I'll give you back the same reaction. It sounds childish, so what. Facing childish people and extreme childish people like me have to fight like a baby. You way of walking pisses me off, the way you talk pisses me off, that day when you were infront of the class doing your malay oral. Your look pisses me off, the way you talked pisses me off. What do you think you are huh? A manager of something. You don't talk like you are a powerful guy when you are not. Stupid me, I was afraid you would forget your stupid text so I do not dare to look at you and praying silently that you would do well. STUPID ME!

Lately collecting what my friends said about me:

• I cry easily
• Being with me pumps up her courage
• Being with me he/she could be himself
• he/she could share secrets with me
• I own my style in almost everything
• I look scary when I scold people being in a angry mood
• Being with me makes him/her laugh alot, because I laugh at things that are not funny and the way I laugh makes people laugh
• I think wierdly and say things that make people laugh(jokes alot)
• I call myself 'Leng Zai' all the time
• He said I was caring
• I greet people in school with 'Yo!' when they say 'Hi!'

I still kind of feel like a 'air-bag' for most of the people around me.

I still love my family, excluded him. I still hate you very much. I pretend to be okay with you but no.

I miss dancing. I miss going out with cool friends. I miss being with Paulie and Michelle and eventhough their bird that bites my bands alot.

I wish pitifully to see Tokio Hotel and take a picture with them. I want to hug the whole band.

There are no falling stars to put a wish upon them in the city.
So can I pretend airplanes are falling stars.
I could really use a wish right now. -Airplanes-

I'm still a nobody. I know.

Lastly...
Aishiteru-mo Daisy-san.. Gengki desu-neh? I hope you are.