-Eighteen- JUNE 30

[XX] really annoyed me today. Again. There is this english oral thing. And I didn't have the chance to return to class to check out what is happening in class on Monday. There was this teacher really sensitive towards the absence of students in her class.. And I missed my oral. [XX] had went back to class and done his ass head oral. He didn't even told me anything about it. I was busy cleaning the cooking stuff. Helping KC out. sorting things out. WTH had he done? He told me he is tired. Indirectly saying I'm not tired la?
And I got dragged back to class today and got mumbled by the long gas teacher. I'm already damn tired, hands fully of cuts. You still make me stand there listen to you talk. I mean.. Theres no wrong of you talking crap. But I'm really in pain and tired. All this goes down to that halve ass sucker. [XX] if he had told me about the oral stuff I would not need to stand there. And apologize where the teacher say no use in apologizing. Go fit ur head in the toilet la. I don't have the mood but I still force myself to apologize. You go talk blah blah blah. Blur yourself to death in your own house don't blah in front of me. As for [XX] , you really think you're boss if your bro put you in charge? Don't go flirt with teachers boys or girls asshole! You have to help out at least abit dude. And you tell me you're tired. My ass to that.

[You say I'm fix..
But I still feel Broken..]
Piano Class
I know I'm not good enough yet. The last thing I need is for my teacher giving me faces saying she gave up. She really did everything I predicted she would. Which really.. Broke me.. In pieces.. She doesn't know. She's not only a teacher to me. She's a friend. A closes friend. A trustable friend. And yet she told me to come for extra training. And that day. She say that those days if i don't go also no use le. I don't feel well those days. I pulled myself together and train. And yet she said that. I really don't know what to feel anymore. Then she added saying she give up on me.. I thought.. She said before that she could help me fufil something in my life which seemed so useless to me. She don't really know everything she says means alot to me. Why hurt me in that way..

I cried 3 times today.. Really need to find someone to talk to. And everyone in the world to me seemed so bad mood. But when there is time to talk. He say he doesn't have the mood. and says he wants to sleep.. What did I do wrong.. Teacher say I have to be strong in anything. I can't.. I'm sorry.

I hate.. my..li..fe..
Going to find a time to end it..
This is just too much for me..