AUG 19

It seems that CL has proven one thing for sure. HAha.. I was the stupid one holding on to a fake friendship line. Now I have to suffer facing posers.
CL said, I trusted them to much, I misjudged them. Now I feel like the biggest dumbo. They just see me as thin air And I thought I treated them like gold they'd do better in return. Nah...
I'm so stupid..

Seeing them grouped together and I have seem to become invincible.. Really really.. hurts.. yet No tears.. weird.

Don't feel like joining any activities now, any dumb activities which involve them..

It seems that I had became invincible.
It seems that I am better off sitting a side.
For one thing I'm sure I'm not a faker and you guys are posers.
Living in a lie like you guys, isn't it tiring?
Well enough, I'm pulling myself out from the crowd.

You guys can't see me?
Fine. I can't see you too.
May our memories stay as memories.
I'm vulnerable.
Fragile.

For the new friends I knew. Hope you guys won't do anything dumb like those posers did. IT hurts from the inside where I can't cry nor feel my tears. It's really pressuring.
Posers, stay in your dumb non-living world. I'm about to get out of there and no longer be a crowd with you guys.
Yes its fun living in a fantasy, but it's not really that great when there are jealousy between friendship topping that up, back-stabbers.

You guys can't beat me in knowledge I've been to so many places and countries, seen so many different weird acting people. Boycott all you want from now on I'm only appreciating the people who really loved me and not only to see me as a goal to beat. You guys can never beat me, lazy freakin' ass. Beating you guys in studies ain't that hard, cause you guys don't study at all. ==

Be street smart I'm okay with that I don't need you guys. Stay in the streets go ahead. Don't come up to my level if i ever get a chance of not seeing you guys ever again.

This is a song lyrics which pretty sure fits me:

Do you ever feel like breaking down?

Do you ever feel out of space?

Like somehow you just don't belong here.
And no one understands you.
Do you ever want to run away? (i really do)

Do you lock yourself in your room? (I do that)

With the radio turned on so loud. (I did this too)

That no one hears you screaming. (And this)

No you don't know what it's like.
When nothing feels alright.
You don't know what it's like to be like.. me..

To be hurt To feel lost

To be left out in the dark To be kicked when you're down

To feel like you've been pushed around

To be on the edge of breaking down

And no one's there to save you

No you don't know what it's like

- Welcome to my life-


[This is exactly how I felt when I was sitting behind you guys. I feel like a big big big lame fool!]

Damn all of you!! T,T sigh......