I don't want to be a disappointment

I totally screwed my english essay the other day,
And it was my midterm.
totally SCREWED.
I thought i was doing fine.
Writing and thinking.
biting on my finger nails while writing.
Thinking I will show my mum I'd do wonderful in this test.
So much for my stupid thoughts.

I was too scared to make a mistake.
Ending up making the worse mistake.
Wrong formatting.
Just the other day, my senior told me that all i have to do is get the format right.
Then it wont be a problem scoring.
Thanks to that blur case who made me freak out.
Telling me theres another format coming out.
Stupid me!
I shouldn't have listen or even talked to her.
sigh*

I kept feeling like crying after that.
Heart ache.
lol
i thought i did well.
I thought it was perfect.
well perfect my shit.

I should just chill out like i used to.
I'm really ...
Very scared.
when I do tests.
I think about the grades that is going to come out.
I think about the amount written on the receipt paid by my dad.
The numbers are kinda stuck in my head.

Ahh i'm getting more and more tense.
stupid.

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