Evolving backwards it seems

I stare at my laptop screen. Doing nothing. Just starring.
Thinking about tomorrow's assignment that I'm suppose to start doing.
The fear slowly creeps in.
Doubt in form of questions formed.
"What if i can't write the program."
"What if there's nothing i can present"
"What if he doesn't help me."
"You better start doing now or u'll regret."

Still frozed. Starring at my laptop screen.
Unsure of what to do. To watch movie to entertain myself.
Or to start doing the assignment.
I couldn't make a decision.
I hate these moments. It makes me really uneasy.

I found a book i really liked. After watching the trailer of a movie.
coming out in 2013. Well i really liked the main actor of that movie.
And the story is really interesting.
I decided to go find the story book, buy it and read.
Instead. Malaysia's book store just lets me down.
I end up wasting my time at the MPH staring at a bunch of young adult books.
Unable to get what i wanted.
When i reached home. My dad told me i could try to search online reading it there.
I found it
Even more easier to go buy the book.
I can now read it in my phone too. I wanted to print out.
But then it will take alot of time standing infront of the printer.
And use up lots of ink and paper.

I realized the feelings of love for someone else.
The feelings of relating.
The fact I'm being really sensitive.
It's just a burden. Maybe i should learn to dump such feelings.
I've been reading the Book. And it seems i would like to change with him.
The feelings. He can't feel. He can for a moment. And then he will forget.
After all. he's a zombie.
The book's really interesting. the way the author describes situations.
And the feelings felt by the main character.
It's really realistic. Kinda messy though. Cuz everytime he eats someone's brain. He will get memories.
Especially when he eats that particular guy's brain.
It's really different from Darren Shan's way of writing.

Though either authors are nice.
But it's fresh to read from a different author.

There's no one to talk to now.
Some times it feels cool.
Other times it just feels empty.
Though. I've got accustomed to it.
So i guess I'm okay.
Anyway.. I think its time for me to sign off and sleep.
Or maybe continue to read the book on my bed.
Who knows.
My brain always struggles with decisions like that.
And end up with mostly bad decisions.
Either way. I will cope.

Goodnight.

JW