Politics~

 The 15th general election ended. Its a mess, we still do not have a government because not party has enough seats to be government. So here we are still waiting for the result...

I was supposed to go and work out - every Monday evening I join my ex-colleagues for badminton. Unfortunately, my body decided today is the day to sneeze the life out of me. My face hurts, my head hurts and my nose hurts too. I wish i didn't have all these sinuses and crap.

Work was annoying in the morning because my lead decided to change the list of things i need to be doing - again. He's been doing it quite frequently due to us not having fixed task / urgent tasks. I know he wouldn't want me to say this but i also think its because we no longer have a PM to look after our tasks.

Obviously I'm not very happy about how our day to day tasks are now. I used to be 'in charge' of the compliances of our application. But just because I said that I'd like to be trying other things as well he completely stripped me from my obligation on the compliance part of it. 

It's pretty annoying. Its like ive lost an important responsibility, and here I am picking up the small pieces. 

Now I need to decide what i'd like to do for the rest of my evening before I end up doing nothing again because i cant decide !

Well shower comes first, even with this annoying allergy.

After that... Chores, got some dishes waiting for me...

Also this new keyboard is pretty sick - got it off a pretty nice deal during 11.11 on Lazada.

Red switches and there's even silicon and foam inside to help with the noise. Its not perfect but it's a start! I can even change the switches if i want to. So far this switch is awesome. Can't wait to try others.'

I have to add that since i'm back at vlogging I should probably update the state of mind that I'm in.

Ever since I moved out, I'd like to think that I am currently healing, not healed, but Healing. Negative thoughts are still there but at least its under some control. Unfortunately, I've grown very emotionally dependent on the people around me. The slightest negative emotion coming from the person I'm communicating with would put me in a very unhappy mood for the rest of the day, or worse, rest of the week.

I noticed member 3 at home is going through some kind of depression as well. But i don't know if its habit or just.. personality. Member 3 would be easily jealous with what others have or do. Honestly that just tells me that member 3 is just not happy with life. I hope it gets better for member 3 once member 3 moves out. I sincerely do. Sometimes we just grew into adults and have different mind sets as the people we live with. So in order to not fight or have bad memories with each other, i think its better to just live your own life.

Trying to live your own life and be an adult with your own values is not easy. Especially when you have lived your whole life with someone telling you how to think. And i'm just trying to snap out of it. And put myself first. Not being so hard on myself. I guess what i'm trying to achieve is simply... Self love.

I hope i get there one day. To be truly happy.

JW