Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Friday, July 5, 2013
Dream of a Dream
People say they can dream of themselves being inside another dream.
Well I just dreamed inside a nightmare of a nightmare.
How cool is that. =.=
it was late at night
i was on the computer as usual,
all of a sudden my dad hurried down to close all the windows.
Warning me that I should sleep right away.
My brother came out of the computer room stared at dad for awhile.
I automatically started packing my laptop and head upstairs to my parents room.
Before I went up the stairs. I heard my brother asking my dad,
'Is it time for the ghost to take our souls?'
I didn't hear a response from my dad.
All of a sudden, there was weird and eerie sounds coming out from our neighbour,
There was a funeral going on.
There was a man shouting out chantings and slamming cymbals together.
I looked out my sliding door before i went up the stairs.
I saw a guy wearing old chinese clothing and dancing like he was in a ritual.
Some stuff happened but i dont remember,
my dad turned off the lights.
We slept and suddenly i woke.
But i don't dare to open my eyes,
It felt like something was in the room with us.
I know what it is, what it was.
And it was getting closer to my face.
I couldn't stand the curiousity any longer,
I peeped through my eye lids,
and there he stares at me.
A skul like thin corpse,
it looked really like my grandfather that passed away recently.
He screamed at my face.
And i woke.
Woke and found that i was blindfolded by my own bandanna that i always tied around my eyes when i take afternoon naps.
I could still hear him screaming,
I struggled to get the bandanna off my eyes.
I used up much strength and pulled it off.
I took of one layer, well that was what it felt like, a bandanna coming undone.
But i still couldn't see,
Starting to panic i used even more strength to pull it off.
Another layer came off but i still cant see.
I struggled to pull harder to pull every layer off.
I still couldn't see.
Screaming and shouting now I pulled even harder,
standing up openned my room door and rush down the corridor to my parent's room,
screaming and struggling to get the bandanna off.
I could hear my brother open his room door to see what was going on.
I finally reach my mum, she open her room door and stare at me.
I finally got the bandanna off still screaming and I woke.
Feeling uneasy and breathing heavily,
I pulled off the bandanna covering my eyes and saw my own room as usual.
That was hell of a dream.
JW
Well I just dreamed inside a nightmare of a nightmare.
How cool is that. =.=
it was late at night
i was on the computer as usual,
all of a sudden my dad hurried down to close all the windows.
Warning me that I should sleep right away.
My brother came out of the computer room stared at dad for awhile.
I automatically started packing my laptop and head upstairs to my parents room.
Before I went up the stairs. I heard my brother asking my dad,
'Is it time for the ghost to take our souls?'
I didn't hear a response from my dad.
All of a sudden, there was weird and eerie sounds coming out from our neighbour,
There was a funeral going on.
There was a man shouting out chantings and slamming cymbals together.
I looked out my sliding door before i went up the stairs.
I saw a guy wearing old chinese clothing and dancing like he was in a ritual.
Some stuff happened but i dont remember,
my dad turned off the lights.
We slept and suddenly i woke.
But i don't dare to open my eyes,
It felt like something was in the room with us.
I know what it is, what it was.
And it was getting closer to my face.
I couldn't stand the curiousity any longer,
I peeped through my eye lids,
and there he stares at me.
A skul like thin corpse,
it looked really like my grandfather that passed away recently.
He screamed at my face.
And i woke.
Woke and found that i was blindfolded by my own bandanna that i always tied around my eyes when i take afternoon naps.
I could still hear him screaming,
I struggled to get the bandanna off my eyes.
I used up much strength and pulled it off.
I took of one layer, well that was what it felt like, a bandanna coming undone.
But i still couldn't see,
Starting to panic i used even more strength to pull it off.
Another layer came off but i still cant see.
I struggled to pull harder to pull every layer off.
I still couldn't see.
Screaming and shouting now I pulled even harder,
standing up openned my room door and rush down the corridor to my parent's room,
screaming and struggling to get the bandanna off.
I could hear my brother open his room door to see what was going on.
I finally reach my mum, she open her room door and stare at me.
I finally got the bandanna off still screaming and I woke.
Feeling uneasy and breathing heavily,
I pulled off the bandanna covering my eyes and saw my own room as usual.
That was hell of a dream.
JW
Thursday, July 4, 2013
Not AlwaysThere
Its funny when people need me,
They will be there,
When they don't.
They just ignore me or give me fake sincerity.
This just revolves around me.
It's sad.
They will be there,
When they don't.
They just ignore me or give me fake sincerity.
This just revolves around me.
It's sad.
JW
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Dreams are coming Back.
I breathe deeply as I saw the man across the street stare at our house.
My parents are no where to be seen.
Probably out somewhere unable to return for the time being.
Later that night,
I went out later than usual
With my younger brother home alone.
I just wanted to throw away my duties and responsibilities for just once.
Hangging out with friends.
All i can recall, it's a very weird place.
Looks like some kind of office building, but then again,
we went in there to have tea or something, i can't recall..
We came out talking about where next.
It was open space.
Soon i recieved a call from my brother.
He made the man across the street from our house mad.
And he is coming for me. He knows where I am and told me that our house will soon be his.
My brother was hiding inside the house.
Suddenly i heard gun shots.
I turned to where the sound was from.
Only to see the man across the street entering his vehicle along with some ladies in cocktail dresses.
I regconize this man. He's K.
After K is out of sight, i started to realize the havoc around me.
I look to where my friends was.
One of us got shot. She's... someone I couldn't recognize,
I recon that's a friend of my friend.
YY told us to stay put and ran to his car.
Some of our friends followed him.
He said he's gonna get help and best don't move her.
I kneel beside the girl, she's breathing heavily.
Another friend of mine I couldn't really remember, probably GX, probably PS.
He was holding on to her wound which was bleeding crazily right on her stomach.
I stood up thinking this can't go on, she will die.
All of a sudden my phone rang and YY was on the phone.
I heard screams and shouts then gun shots.
YY was trying to say something but i couldn't understand.
'They're here!' someone shouted.
Then i hear glass shattering, metal screeching. then silence.
I stare hard at my phone. I decided to make the wounded girl walk.
We are too exposed.
At first PS disagreed. But i insisted. No use sitting here waiting for help that won't come.
We are in a toilet. Trying to use a white towel to seep up her blood.
She's getting pale but still smiling.
The whole toilet floor is blood.
I'm in a weird place.
High place. High up from the ground.
The floor board is made of pieces of wood.
I could see through the creeks.
A lady was under me doing something i couldn't remember.
Searching for something. I'm like in the back stage of a performance or seomthing.
It's like someone's house.
I couldn't find what i was looking for and i realize someone was starring at me from behind.
A lady starring at me curiously.
She didn't say or ask anything. She had a gentle look on her face.
She gave me a makeover on my face and i start climbing down the 'stage' i was on.
I'm in a japanese restaurant.
Kneeling beside me is the wounded girl.
She is trembling and cold sweat was pouring down from her forehead.
I gave short stares at her to see how is she doing.
Many other people wearing the same uniform as us are kneeling too.
We are seated around a long table.
We are waiting. There are guys and also women.
We all are wearing yukata's.
A man walks in the room with shades on.
I peek at the person.
It was K. Shocked I quickly look away from him.
He was keeping dead quiet and stare at all of us.
One by one he tossed the people out of the room.
Me and the wounded girl is all that left in the room with him.
He slowly made his way in front my me.
Squat down.
Lifts my chin so I look at him.
I stare at him with hatred.
'Found you.' He says and smirks.
I tremble in fear and shouted at him. 'NO!'
I send a punch right to his face and his shades breaks.
He yelled and feel backwards.
I drag the wounded girl with me.
He chases after me I send another kick into the position between his legs.
'STAY DOWN!' I screamed at him.
outside the room, lights are slightly out,
some lights flicker using up the remaining energy it has.
Shelfs, tables, chairs all feel out of place,
All broken and books scattered everywhere.
The wounded girl kneels down unable to move any further.
A tear fell down my face as she nods and releases my hand.
K was screaming behind me.
I got up and ran.
Suddenly I heard a loud thud.
And I tripped after listening to the sound.
Trying not to believe what I heard was what i thought it was.
I turned around with tears in my eyes,
K dropped a television on the wounded girl, with an ugly smile on his face.
Thats when I realize the place was burning down.
It was raining outside, water are leaking through the broken roof.
Dirt was all over my yukata.
I tear off the yukata so I could run easier.
Left with shorts and a t-shirt, I ran.
I'm finally home.
The whole neighbourhood looks dead,
Even the street lights are dead.
I went in the house searching for my brother.
K shouts from outside saying he's coming, he's coming.
I held my brother's hand and went out.
Starring at him. Standing on our front yard where he is standing outside our gate.
He tries to climb in.
I hug my brother and he hugged back. Tears flowing down our face.
And I woke.
My parents are no where to be seen.
Probably out somewhere unable to return for the time being.
Later that night,
I went out later than usual
With my younger brother home alone.
I just wanted to throw away my duties and responsibilities for just once.
Hangging out with friends.
All i can recall, it's a very weird place.
Looks like some kind of office building, but then again,
we went in there to have tea or something, i can't recall..
We came out talking about where next.
It was open space.
Soon i recieved a call from my brother.
He made the man across the street from our house mad.
And he is coming for me. He knows where I am and told me that our house will soon be his.
My brother was hiding inside the house.
Suddenly i heard gun shots.
I turned to where the sound was from.
Only to see the man across the street entering his vehicle along with some ladies in cocktail dresses.
I regconize this man. He's K.
After K is out of sight, i started to realize the havoc around me.
I look to where my friends was.
One of us got shot. She's... someone I couldn't recognize,
I recon that's a friend of my friend.
YY told us to stay put and ran to his car.
Some of our friends followed him.
He said he's gonna get help and best don't move her.
I kneel beside the girl, she's breathing heavily.
Another friend of mine I couldn't really remember, probably GX, probably PS.
He was holding on to her wound which was bleeding crazily right on her stomach.
I stood up thinking this can't go on, she will die.
All of a sudden my phone rang and YY was on the phone.
I heard screams and shouts then gun shots.
YY was trying to say something but i couldn't understand.
'They're here!' someone shouted.
Then i hear glass shattering, metal screeching. then silence.
I stare hard at my phone. I decided to make the wounded girl walk.
We are too exposed.
At first PS disagreed. But i insisted. No use sitting here waiting for help that won't come.
We are in a toilet. Trying to use a white towel to seep up her blood.
She's getting pale but still smiling.
The whole toilet floor is blood.
I'm in a weird place.
High place. High up from the ground.
The floor board is made of pieces of wood.
I could see through the creeks.
A lady was under me doing something i couldn't remember.
Searching for something. I'm like in the back stage of a performance or seomthing.
It's like someone's house.
I couldn't find what i was looking for and i realize someone was starring at me from behind.
A lady starring at me curiously.
She didn't say or ask anything. She had a gentle look on her face.
She gave me a makeover on my face and i start climbing down the 'stage' i was on.
I'm in a japanese restaurant.
Kneeling beside me is the wounded girl.
She is trembling and cold sweat was pouring down from her forehead.
I gave short stares at her to see how is she doing.
Many other people wearing the same uniform as us are kneeling too.
We are seated around a long table.
We are waiting. There are guys and also women.
We all are wearing yukata's.
A man walks in the room with shades on.
I peek at the person.
It was K. Shocked I quickly look away from him.
He was keeping dead quiet and stare at all of us.
One by one he tossed the people out of the room.
Me and the wounded girl is all that left in the room with him.
He slowly made his way in front my me.
Squat down.
Lifts my chin so I look at him.
I stare at him with hatred.
'Found you.' He says and smirks.
I tremble in fear and shouted at him. 'NO!'
I send a punch right to his face and his shades breaks.
He yelled and feel backwards.
I drag the wounded girl with me.
He chases after me I send another kick into the position between his legs.
'STAY DOWN!' I screamed at him.
outside the room, lights are slightly out,
some lights flicker using up the remaining energy it has.
Shelfs, tables, chairs all feel out of place,
All broken and books scattered everywhere.
The wounded girl kneels down unable to move any further.
A tear fell down my face as she nods and releases my hand.
K was screaming behind me.
I got up and ran.
Suddenly I heard a loud thud.
And I tripped after listening to the sound.
Trying not to believe what I heard was what i thought it was.
I turned around with tears in my eyes,
K dropped a television on the wounded girl, with an ugly smile on his face.
Thats when I realize the place was burning down.
It was raining outside, water are leaking through the broken roof.
Dirt was all over my yukata.
I tear off the yukata so I could run easier.
Left with shorts and a t-shirt, I ran.
I'm finally home.
The whole neighbourhood looks dead,
Even the street lights are dead.
I went in the house searching for my brother.
K shouts from outside saying he's coming, he's coming.
I held my brother's hand and went out.
Starring at him. Standing on our front yard where he is standing outside our gate.
He tries to climb in.
I hug my brother and he hugged back. Tears flowing down our face.
And I woke.
JW
Saturday, March 23, 2013
Old wounds
I've finally understood how he felt.
Memories don't just disappear as you want it to.
They just hide in the corners of your mind.
Until something come a triggers them and your nightmare starts.
Looking at what condition he is in
It's just really a heart ache.
I thought that he would learn to grow up.
No he did not, he is still being a child.
And stubborn.
I will pretend I couldn't see.
I will pretend I don't know.
If I don't see.
I won't feel.
Everything..
Was just a huge mistake..
Memories don't just disappear as you want it to.
They just hide in the corners of your mind.
Until something come a triggers them and your nightmare starts.
Looking at what condition he is in
It's just really a heart ache.
I thought that he would learn to grow up.
No he did not, he is still being a child.
And stubborn.
I will pretend I couldn't see.
I will pretend I don't know.
If I don't see.
I won't feel.
Everything..
Was just a huge mistake..
JW
Monday, March 18, 2013
Another day Another way
It was me and you against the world.
But all that's left is me alone.
Even my shadow would leave me when i'm in the dark.
So i understand.
the skies just gotten darker..
There are many people who love to flaunt what they have.
This includes people who got dumped,
and wanna show the world he/she's got someone better.
Or anyone who uses the social media on the internet now.
I can't adapt, I'm still be.
I don't really remember to let anyone know where I am.
I don't really remember to post pictures of me having fun.
I just be there and have fun that's all.
I don't need the world to know how happy I am.
I don't need the world to know how unhappy I am.
But at least the people who I feel close to me should.
JW
So just shut the fuck up and stay quiet.
Before you hurt even more people around you.
Bloody asshole.
But all that's left is me alone.
Even my shadow would leave me when i'm in the dark.
So i understand.
the skies just gotten darker..
There are many people who love to flaunt what they have.
This includes people who got dumped,
and wanna show the world he/she's got someone better.
Or anyone who uses the social media on the internet now.
I can't adapt, I'm still be.
I don't really remember to let anyone know where I am.
I don't really remember to post pictures of me having fun.
I just be there and have fun that's all.
I don't need the world to know how happy I am.
I don't need the world to know how unhappy I am.
But at least the people who I feel close to me should.
JW
So just shut the fuck up and stay quiet.
Before you hurt even more people around you.
Bloody asshole.
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
Still hurts and it wont Leave me alone
'Sorry but My girlfriend doesn't like you finding me. So can you please stop contacting me. Yes I love her very much. I've finally found someone who actually appreciates me. I've finally someone I could feel. I've finally find someone true enough, for me, To Love.'
JW
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
It just hurts
JW
I'm a second child.
I'm a middle child,
I'm a back up,
I'm a second choice,
I'm...
What am I.
I'm...
What am I.
Sometimes being second isn't that bad.
It's just that, You'll never be the one in the front,
Being first.
It's just that, You'll never be the one in the front,
Being first.
Alas technology is always the one,
with me, accompanying me.
with me, accompanying me.
I guess they're most loyal things in the world.
I still can't get over this feeling.
I'm still being emo.
Well I only write here when I'm feeling bad.
I'm still being emo.
Well I only write here when I'm feeling bad.
I didn't know it was such a big impact.
I'm... torn.
I'm... torn.
Oh self pity, please leave me be..
Mum dad don't compare,
I'm me she's her.
Mum dad don't compare,
If you miss her just say so.
Mum dad don't compare,
She hurts you guys, I won't do the same.
Mum dad don't compare,
Whatever happens, I will still be me.
Mum dad don't compare,
No matter how much I get angry at you guys, I won't leave.
Mum dad don't compare,
I can't be as good as her i can't do anything about it.
Mum dad don't compare,
And even if you guys do, i still love you.
and you,
You say I'm not a substitute,
I'm not a second choice,
I'm not an escape route.
Then tell me now,
why the fuck i feel like one.
I'm pissed,
I feel sad,
I feel unfair,
I feel unfair,
This world is so.
Unfair at times like this.
'All I want to do is love you,But I'm the only one to blame.'
- Secondhand Serenade
Make a decision fast,
And don't regret,
Make a decision and stick to it,
Be straight forward,
Make a decision now,
Or I will be leaving soon.
The love I have is being used up.
Used up by people who couldn't keep up.
Now tell me why should I continue to get hurt,
For things that would make me fall in the dirt,
Struggling alone in this conflict,
The wounds that blood still reeks,
With everyone being selfish,
With nobody to trust or to lean on,
Why should I continue giving out my generous heart,
which has been torn and stepped on time to time,
By all of you.
Tell me why.
Should I,
Continue to lie,
To myself and I,
Would get hurt by,
standing alone with thy,
Taking everything like,
It is for granted, you Sly,
People of the world.
JW
Credits goes to KC for editing my pic.
Saturday, February 2, 2013
Hangover
So this is what it feels to be semi drunk.
I didn't drink till i feel woozy and faint.
I just scolded all of my frens and laugh continuously.
My stomach hurts now.
I was so hungry from last night..
It feels like an old wound openned up.
My arm muscles hurts even when i type on my keyboard
So weird...
well goodnight.
JW
Sunday, January 13, 2013
Gastric
Young girls posting in facebook about gastric.
Having the pain?
Want some attention from friends?
You don't even know how gastric really feels
HOw the pain feels.
Stupid girls.
Having the pain?
Want some attention from friends?
You don't even know how gastric really feels
HOw the pain feels.
Stupid girls.
Saturday, January 12, 2013
Back to my sensitivity
I guess I was just being sensitive again.
The other day I went out with some friends to watch a movie.
I drove quite far just to see them.
I thought I would have a great time.
I was so wrong.
lol..
I didn't feel well in the middle of the movie.
The back of my head hurts.
I kept drinking water trying to wash away the blurriness.
Then the movie was over and i thought they would say bye bye and we all go home. yay.
erm. Wrong again.
See i parked my car near to the cinema's exit.
One of the boys knew.
But they were wandering off and didn't even say, ok we're leaving now.
You don't expect me to tail them right?
If I really did, they'd be like, I thought your car is parked there, why are you following us.
At that particular time i will feel like I'm being damned.
I wasn't feeling good at all that moment.
My legs feel weak the back of my head hurts wherever i look,
my gastric is attacking and i can feel the acid building up in my stomach.
And none of them even gives a damn to even say, ok we're leaving now.
I'm not waiting for a girly bye bye or anything.
I'm waiting for a sign to say, ok this is it for today,
What the hell. I stood behind them as they trailed even further from me.
I shouted a few times . 'oi, woi.'
Yup nobody cared to turn around and look.
I was so ready to turn away and leave but i was in such a blur and sick state i couldn't.
Every time they do this it reminds me how much I hated subang.
how much i hated the people there.
i guess i won't go out with them anymore.
Not even one more time.
Enough. You boys and your selfish thoughts.
JW
The other day I went out with some friends to watch a movie.
I drove quite far just to see them.
I thought I would have a great time.
I was so wrong.
lol..
I didn't feel well in the middle of the movie.
The back of my head hurts.
I kept drinking water trying to wash away the blurriness.
Then the movie was over and i thought they would say bye bye and we all go home. yay.
erm. Wrong again.
See i parked my car near to the cinema's exit.
One of the boys knew.
But they were wandering off and didn't even say, ok we're leaving now.
You don't expect me to tail them right?
If I really did, they'd be like, I thought your car is parked there, why are you following us.
At that particular time i will feel like I'm being damned.
I wasn't feeling good at all that moment.
My legs feel weak the back of my head hurts wherever i look,
my gastric is attacking and i can feel the acid building up in my stomach.
And none of them even gives a damn to even say, ok we're leaving now.
I'm not waiting for a girly bye bye or anything.
I'm waiting for a sign to say, ok this is it for today,
What the hell. I stood behind them as they trailed even further from me.
I shouted a few times . 'oi, woi.'
Yup nobody cared to turn around and look.
I was so ready to turn away and leave but i was in such a blur and sick state i couldn't.
Every time they do this it reminds me how much I hated subang.
how much i hated the people there.
i guess i won't go out with them anymore.
Not even one more time.
Enough. You boys and your selfish thoughts.
JW
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
relationships
I don't understand why...
The people I loved before I now hate.
The love I once gave to them they don't appreciate.
When I stopped the love given to them.
They turn around and do all sorts of things to get my heart back.
It's so heart sickening.
Why didn't they just appreciate me and I don't cry to much then?
Why make me go through so much mental stress?
Why make me cry myself to sleep?
Why make me cry fighting with them?
Why make me remember the sick memories with them?
And the people I love.
They either don't know it,
pretend not to know,
distance away from me,
or ignore it.
It's so stressful.
I just sometimes hope I'm like a zombie without feelings,
just as one of my friend once said.
it's just so heart sickening.
And I'm now crying alone in front of my laptop.
With my damp fingers tapping on this keyboard..
Technology you're always.. always the only one with me.
And lastly..
Why am i always the only one that walks alone behind the crowd.
I just want to smile like i really mean to.
JW
The people I loved before I now hate.
The love I once gave to them they don't appreciate.
When I stopped the love given to them.
They turn around and do all sorts of things to get my heart back.
It's so heart sickening.
Why didn't they just appreciate me and I don't cry to much then?
Why make me go through so much mental stress?
Why make me cry myself to sleep?
Why make me cry fighting with them?
Why make me remember the sick memories with them?
And the people I love.
They either don't know it,
pretend not to know,
distance away from me,
or ignore it.
It's so stressful.
I just sometimes hope I'm like a zombie without feelings,
just as one of my friend once said.
it's just so heart sickening.
And I'm now crying alone in front of my laptop.
With my damp fingers tapping on this keyboard..
Technology you're always.. always the only one with me.
And lastly..
Why am i always the only one that walks alone behind the crowd.
I just want to smile like i really mean to.
JW
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Count Down
Kinda regret going there for count down.
Horrible experience.
Shld have went to desa park city.
=..=
But it doesnt matter eh?
I FINALLY GOT THE BOOK.
OHHH WAITING FOR THE MOVIE NOW.
warm booodiieessss..
Look closely. so many polices.
And I really don't know what are they there for, when they are just standing around.
So damn crowded and many shit ass smoking.
It was like torture.
Just horrible experience. -.-
JW
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