"Fear is an emotion and It is also a choice"

Just Live.

Friday, February 18, 2011

FEB 19

Carmen once said that it was nice to see the blue sky.
Look into it you'll see freedom..
I wonder if she lied to me.

It was once so lonely I frequently talk to myself.
It was either sooner or later of me having phsyco attacks.
I even had to talk to the wall. Seriously... felt ridiculous but no one else would listen.
I tried hiding inside my cupboard hiding and crying.
Feeling sorry for myself, but it just felt more ridiculous after crying.


I hate being over controlled, makes me feel useless.
What does it takes to escape all of these.
Regretting gets me no where.

Should I just message and tell that to start all over?
...

Sad..I had to face everything on my own.
'Nice' dad said that if I can't face a small problem on my own,
I won't be able to make it through harder times.
Carmen where have you been...
I need help.

I can't control what I want.
And who said it doesn't feel like a jail here.
Cage, ill, sad, pain, razor blades, blood, sick, gore.

- JW -

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