Finally, 22 Feb

I finally pressed the stupid button.
I wonder if I shouldn't have.
Well I just did ,
so no turning back. =]

I hope we did change,
I hope I changed.

FEB 19 [ii]

I think I've changed my mind..
But I couldn't make myself to tell you.
I so useless.
I'm the one who didn't want you.
I deserve to be alone now I guess...

There's just so many drafts in my phone.
~.~
And I can't even make myself send them to you.
I guess you've given up too.

My 'friends' ...
My dear 'friends'...
I'm disappointed.

My parents..
My dear parents..
I'm disappointed.

My dear self..
I'm disappointed.

My life.
Disappointing.

Xiao hei told me that I'm gonna get mental issues if this carries on.
=]
Hope I can just push on...

Friendship NEVER lasts

I misunderstood the meaning of friendship.
Lies they were.
This is worse than being betrayed.

FEB 19

Carmen once said that it was nice to see the blue sky.
Look into it you'll see freedom..
I wonder if she lied to me.

It was once so lonely I frequently talk to myself.
It was either sooner or later of me having phsyco attacks.
I even had to talk to the wall. Seriously... felt ridiculous but no one else would listen.
I tried hiding inside my cupboard hiding and crying.
Feeling sorry for myself, but it just felt more ridiculous after crying.


I hate being over controlled, makes me feel useless.
What does it takes to escape all of these.
Regretting gets me no where.

Should I just message and tell that to start all over?
...

Sad..I had to face everything on my own.
'Nice' dad said that if I can't face a small problem on my own,
I won't be able to make it through harder times.
Carmen where have you been...
I need help.

I can't control what I want.
And who said it doesn't feel like a jail here.
Cage, ill, sad, pain, razor blades, blood, sick, gore.

- JW -

Odd Vs Ordinary Pic