"Fear is an emotion and It is also a choice"

Just Live.

Tuesday, December 6, 2022

Global Pandemic? My Turn. Bummer.

As much as I tried to avoid getting ill it has eventually found me. Tested positive for covid-19 a day ago. Well thank the hot weather in the country flu isn't that deadly now that we're in the late stages of the pandemic.

Was pretty much in bed the whole day yesterday, world can't seem to stop spinning.

Okay.. Brain's pretty blank at this point. Probably shouldn't be listening to slow music when i'm feeling like shit.

I was pretty pissed when I woke up yesterday morning because I had to find all the right people in my company to let them know i will be off on sick leaves. But I was trying not to go out to clinics as well. Not planning to spread what I have. Had that settled but it legit pissed me off. Mainly cuz the team I am in is not in KL so there's a lot of people I need to reach out and my brain was in a mess at that point.

This annoying cough omg.

Currently dealing with a blocked nose, backflow, headache and face ache due to my sinus glands swelling up. One of my lymph nodes is also swollen, right about above my left collar bone. At least i don't feel as tired as I did compared to yesterday.

Speaking bout yesterday, i don't know if it was because I was sick and the world is a mess my brain was still so obsessed with helping my friend. Whom I understood had family issues but she probably is in denial. She has depression too, lets just say she is dealing it in her own way.

Today I am more focused on me. Thankfully. Or i'd start suspecting I have a crush on her dear lord.

Am I questioning my own sexuality? Sometimes I guess, but I'm pretty sure I'm into dudes. Which part of a male's body I like the most. Their back. How the muscles mush together into shape is just freaking sexy. hahaha

I have family issues too ever since i moved out it feels like i've been abandoned by my own parents. But according to member 3, its my problem, don't expect so much, i should be serving my parents once again, not expect for more from them.

Great conversation.  

Guess i'm not ready to discuss about that yet. And it seems i have my own issues too, who was i thinking i can help someone else while i'm in such a mess.

"Friday's child is loving and giving.

Giving away so much i feel like slapping myself so hard my brains fall out. Jk.

Sunday, December 4, 2022

Obligated

Today was the day my close friend finally had the courage to break up with her mentally abusive bf. Well now that I think about it, it wasn’t all her. It was him holding the reins. 


I’ve spent the whole day convincing her it’s ok to let go. 


But she is overwhelmed with fear of a future without him. 


I feel I have failed as her close friend to keep her away from abusive ppl like him. Having all the information I couldn’t do anything.