Emo again

In this colourful world..
Where everyone is colourful.
It felt like I'm the only one staying colourless.

JW

Christmas Eve

I failed my 'undang' yesterday.
I really was frustrated. Because i failed on 41.
I FINALLY PASSED today. :D
It was harder than the first time i took the exam.
And he gave me another present today~
Like every year he would on christmas.
Only that he won't be in the country tomorrow.
He gave it to me.
He was waiting outside my house when i just had my LATE lunch.
Thanks to the driver at the driving school.
^^
just happy. muahahahahah~

JW

Soul has return?

You made me cry in my dreams.
NOW YOU MAKE ME CRY IN MY SLEEP!
I missed you. indeed. but.
You paid a visit to my sister the night after you left.
But not me!
Now you choose to haunt my dreams??
I don't know what made you so angry that you would return.
But this is not the way to solve it.
I'm really sad to see you like this.
Mocking every inch of the family in my dreams.
It HURTS.

Though you won't be seeing this.
I just wrote it out or i'd go nuts!
I love you no matter what.
But.. please don't get upset.

..
I love you.

JW

Future?

The future is not to be controlled as please easily.
The future. is not as friendly as it seems.
Nevertheless... the future...does not wait.

Dad: Now you start to see people have to study hard. Now you see it.

No.. What I saw was... How hard life was.
Dad, you are a very successful man.
I really mean it. For that I solemnly bow down to you.
I can't help he says, it's not my place to help.
It's totally out of hand. Totally ... helpless.

I take back what i said about how beautiful the future is,
if you pray it to be,
if you wish it to be,
if you believe it to be.

Stories say they end with living happily ever after.
That's another lie.
No.
Stories do end well.
But Life is not a story.
Life is...
the truth of all sorts.
the pain of all thoughts.
and it is unstoppable until you draw your last breath.

Frustrating.
Depressed.

For the first time.
I couldn't help when i wanted to.

JW

dec 1

wen: i went out today.. my legs are killing me...

rin: lol. bought anything/

wen: a cool bracelet. and a muffler.. look i made a sketch of today. from left : KC , me, Bro

you can right click on the image and open it in another window. it's bigger that way. much clearer..
really moody now.. weird..

JW

30-11

Rin: Why are you so happy?

Wen: (smiles silently)

Rin: Finished ur exam i see?

Wen: Yup~

-silence-

Rin: Why the long face suddenly?

Wen: I'm worried about the future.

Rin: Don't waste your time thinking about the future. Just enjoy while you can. *winks*

Wen: (looks away)

JW

Duh..

I read the newspaper the other day.
(Supprise supprise*)
And saw JKS news on the papers.
(SUPPRISE SUPPRISE*)

It was about him warning his fans.
About being too obsessed.
It was rather disappointing for me.
He really shouldn't have said like that.
Its not really my place to comment but,
this might just scar his fame.
Fans are sensitive too.
Its better than having obsessed fans than none.
He's a celeb now. And he's kinda proving he can't handle fame.

Really disappointing.
I'm sad to see him so defensive towards his 'sasaeng' fans.
Well.. i might as well give up being a fan of his too.
I don't really stalk him on the net.
But I re-entered my twitter account.
Which i made like... AGES  ago.
To find him.
it was all in korean. D:
Damn. i cant understand a thing.
and the google translater isn't really helping.
If they were all in chinese.
IT'D BE SO MUCH BETTER!
grrr...

I just finished my first week spm.
went well.
i hope the results are good too.
I'll just pray again later.

I'm beginning to stress about further studies after my spm.
I really love digital art.
But can i earn money enough to keep myself fed.
=o=
it's really depressing.
I think i have to give up my favourite... work..
Do I really have to end up studying programming?

Sigh...











winryDove

Lonely? finally?

I dont know since when i begin to fear the term loneliness.
I was really stressing myself to pump history into my head.
But all of a sudden.
I decided to relax.
What's the point forcing myself into a stress point that will cause me to fear loneliness?
I started having dreams.
those type where you have no money,
not a place to stay,
wondering around,
stressful life.

I stopped them. :D
The term loneliness.
Is gone.
But still stressful.
I'm better though. thankfully.

I really hope to meet Jang Geun Suk one day.
I wonder why I'm so obsessed with him.
Weirddddd...
I'm even obsessed with the drama : You're Beautiful.
WHY?
=..= i seriously don't know.
Well.. i freaked out when I saw Jang Geun Suk's poster at 1U.
I took a picture down too with my handphone.
So weird. =o=
I want to meet him.
I wonder what will i react if I saw him on the street.
ha-ha-ha..
and so likely if i would meet him in the streets here.

XD

JW

Miss em?

It seems like nearly most of my schoolmates are declaring on how much they will miss their classmates/// dee lee daa laa and so on.
=,= Apparently.
I don't miss mine.
Infact. I WONT.
Its just a few friends i will really miss.
especially KC.
he was a good friend.
I hope we will find each other in the future.
and my gang of loonies.
I really hope.

and i F*CKING hope i wont see those B*TCHES in my life.
EVER!

daa... i hate you. fake teachers.
deee... i hate you. fake posers.
duuuuuu....  duuuu... duuuuu...
-and so the line went dead-

JW

T.T

Finally.. a better colouring. which do you prefer?
i prefer the not coloured one. haha. :D
i will endure and improve!

JW

4.11.11 1906

Spm is near. D:
Duh... I hope it arrives faster so i can get over with it.
Stupid exam.
I guess stress level is coming up as well.
So is my temper.
o0o =..= o0o

JW

Its What I Can Do.

I'm sorry if i'm not good enough.
But this is my limit to what i can do.
I hate seeing you being down.
But you don't care about me.
Its always you you you you..
What about me?
I cared for others too much i start to neglect my own feelings.
...
I hate you.
But I still care for you.
I mean.. WTF is wrong with me??

=.=

*sigh

Just... don't .. get hurt.
Don't make me worry about you.
做啊文真辛苦..

文

9.10.2011 1825

You're damn selfish!
And B*tches!
Dont talk behind my back about me.
Pui!

JW

I'm back.

I'm back to my emo era...
Ahh.. everything seemed so negative again.

Error.

JW

Check this out

Yan Zhi unleashed~ =D

and Coffin Attacker. XD

And I really envy this guy at deviant art, his name there is RebornArtist.
He poses his art at youtube too.
the fast drawing type.
T.T how i wish i could colour like he can.
I really don't have the imagination for backgrounds. lol
and my colour mixing SUCKS.

here is another colour test. =.= he looks rather weird but succeeded in skin toning. FINALLY.
and hair toning. nearly there nearly there. ==...

JW

11.8.2011 2344

This feels so... quiet.
After you have left.
It didn't took me long to notice.
I was always this lonely.
After you leaving, it just triggers my mind set that it felt even more lonely.

JW

9.8.11 11.20

I'm very disappointed.
and speechless.
*sigh...

JW

28/7/11 0018

Did I... really misunderstood her?
If she..'s telling the truth.. where's the proof?
Her bunch of friends are scolding me...
Or.. is it characters that she created?

it is said that a liar answers the questions asked in 0 sec,
the truth comes out from 1-2 sec.
She failed that test today.
My friend ask if her so call 'COCOTAN' is from what school,
how she met her.
She reply every question like it was already written on paper.
Like she'd memorised it.

Lol.
and the question comes again.
Did I misunderstood her? Did I?

Well I blocked her, then my sis was looking at her stuff.
So i accidentally saw it too.
After that my mood was like crap.
Ahh.. its okay... even if my friends don't stand up for me,
I stand up for them. I've done my part. Its okay..
I'll cry it over.
I'll get over it. It's okay.. it's okay..

Buddies this are for you:

When I see your smile
Tears run down my face I can't replace
And now that I'm stronger I've figured out
How this world turns cold and breaks through my soul
And I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

It's ok. It's ok. It's ok.

^^

I hope i cure fast.

I'm too sensitive. that's all. it'll be okay..

JW

24.7.2011 2106

lol!
ZE BLOCKED ME ON FB!
XDDDD
Am I that intimidating?
lol! Its like a cat and a mouse game!
geh..
She better not disturb KC again.
She messaged him today.

Message content:
Hey,2moro i dnt wanna explain 2 them, they ad set im tat kind of person in their heart so i dnt tink they wil believe in me anymore, juz can blame i didnt say properly wat im trying 2 say la, n sry 4 wat i write in ur post n thx 4 believe me n b4 let i b 1 of ur gang

And she wrote stupid stuff in her b4,
then b4 i know it she blocked me,
i can even kick her out of my friend list if i want to.
But what's the point.

She say she thought we knew her,
we were really close friends that we would understand her.

Correction for her:
1# We are NEVER CLOSE. Not me and her.
2# It's not all of us that don't wanna listen to her blarh, some of my friends might listen, but she puts me as the leader. Real dumb blond.
3# Sorry I don't know her and never knew what a person she is except for a 'flirt-ter'.
4#And i also know that YOU ARE A FAKER! =D
5#I NEVER MISUNDERSTOOD YOU. I UNDERSTAND.
6#It's not the first time you made me angry.

phew.. i told KC if she messages him again, tell me.
I'll tell her off myself.
KC has already enough trouble in his head.
She's making things hard for him.
that was making me really angry.
=.=

urhh! annoying !
BIATCHE!

=.=

chill chill~~
Anyway she says she has friends to talk to.
GO GO~
don't disturb KC dy.
*sigh*

She left SY alone for a few times during in school.
Sticking to others.
That pissed me off too.
She flirts without controlling herself.
THAT PISSES ME OFF 2!
She likes to stick to others playing close.
THAT PISSES ME OFF 3!
She likes to PRETEND!
THAT PISSES ME OFF 4!!!!


There's so many things that she does makes me so angry I try to avoid her so that I won't scold her in the face.
I've done my part enough.

我已忍够了！
我忍够你喜欢扮可爱扮可怜的丑样子！
真让人讨厌！！！！！！！
开心啦？
我限度已到了。 开心吗？？

人类做的东西翻有第一次，一定会有第二次！
keep that in mind sucker.

JW

Outting with fren pic~

Here it is!!! XDDD

JW

23.7.2011 1845

Ahh I just came back from a one day trip with my friends,
this trip was meant to celebrate my birthday.
^^ I'm glad most of them showed up.
I was so worried that most of them won't come.

Last night close midnight KC was back talked by ZE.
He was really pissed.
I was pissed.
But I was angry not entirely because of what she said.
It's because I know KC has emotionally problems,
this idiot adds more salt to the situation.

She even made some stupid statements to one of my schoolmate.
IS SHE BRAINLESS OR WHAT???
SHE ALWAYS FLIRT AROUND ME ALREADY MADE ME HATE HER.
I JUST DIDN'T SHOW HER CUZ I WAS AFRAID I MIGHT HURT HER IF I WAS TOO STRAIGHT TOWARDS HER.

BLOODY HELL!

WHAT'S SHE TRYIN TO PULL HUH?

I said a few things not to accuse ppl on FB,
then she told KC she doesn't want to go the next day,
The good thing is she's not going,
the other thing is a problem,
SY can't go without her.
Lucky me and KC got a way to get SY to go.
URHHHH>>>
I'M DONE TRYING TO PLAY NICE!

Anyway, we did many fun stuff today.
=D
We messed up our dining place during lunch,
showed off our lenses to each other,
which we all got them new.
YH can't put it in it was so funny.
But finally he was able to with KC's guidance.

My eyes are sore now,
because of the lens i guess,
i've been wearing them whole day,
just took them off.
now My sight is blurry,
gotta go nap later.
hopefully my eyes recover.
I'll post photos up of today when my friend post it up on FB,
i can save them down and post them here.
Gotta go. Don't wanna face the comp too long.

^^

UUUUURRRHHHH~~ BAD LAST NIGHT!

ARRHHHH!!! HAPPY TO-DAY~~

JW

21-7-2011 2316

Ahhh a few more minutes it's my birthday.
I GOT CONTACT LENSES!!
It was a pain trying to put them in. -.-
But I DID IT! =D
I bought grey my sis bought purple.
She's a bit frustrated she can't put them in.
I feel bad not be able to help. ==
She has to learn to put them in herself,
if i help her she wont know how to do it herself.

I hope nothing bad happens tomorrow.
And... I really wish to improve my drawing skills.
Sat my friends are gonna help me celebrate my b'day.
I decided to wear a bit more girlie than usual. =D

Sigh...
I feel really weird...
KC is a 'normal student' now.
So he asked me to accompany him at the pondok every recess.
I mean I'm cool with it anyway.
But many others came.
That's when I felt .. left out again.
Ahh... I so sensitive...

But even though I hated WM's scary cat attitude or so call,
attracting my attention then ignore me like he don't give a damn attitude.
But whenever I thought of him,
the sweet things he done,
the cute and shy look of his,
the way he talked to me,
the questions he asked,
always cheered me up.
Thank you WM.
I will personally thank you,
i will try to spare some time to make you a star bottle,
whom my close friends and qualified people for me are to recieve them,
hand made gifts.
^^ i just hope I have the time.
THANK YOU.

This is a drawing of Chibi of Ader Raven.
Its drawn for the competition at egscans art competition,
they placed a strict rule =.= that scared me
My last drawing posted there,
people misunderstood it for a YAOI drawing. T.T ITS NOT!
The rule was : NO YAOI!
walao..
I really hope to improve my colouring and drawing.. but how..
I WILL PRACTICE! I WILL IMPROVE!
I WILL SHOW YOU!

 Check out my lens.

JW

1400 14.7.2011

She's getting more and more like a pest!
OOooo! ANNOYING!
Ya go ahead and throw me around like a broken doll.
And the way you talk about others is way more poisonous than i do.
i really wonder if there is karma for this type of behavior.
I wonder why she's treating me like this.
Is it the jealousy of something outta my life?
And the more I think I'm damn lucky my legs are not as fat as hers.
FAT ASS!
I always felt betrayed!
Why do this to me!

"Machinery and hair products are my best friend,
Their betrayal is not that painful,
Humans are dangerous and poisonous beings,
They LIE they poke words in sentences that hurts,
I'm poisonous in my own way,
But not in a way that would harm one,"

USE YOUR BLOODY MUTATED BRAIN TO THINK BEFORE YOU DECIDE TO SAY ANYTHING!
YOU THINK YOU'RE ALL THAT?
NO YOU'RE NOT! THINK AGAIN BLOODY MUTATED BRAIN FREAK!
AAARRRGHHHH!!! ANNOYING!

JW

2328 11/7/2011

What has become of my country....
I'm really sad to see this...


Really.. sad..
*sigh
Why are they making such a fuss out of this?
Are there so much to hide?
It made me felt like hitting someone.
I hope someone dares to make a puching face game with Najib's face on it.

And.. this video is just telling many to not believe in the polices. ANYMORE.
Polices open wide their eyes and LIE.
开大眼睛说谎话。
你们的妈妈没教你们么？
说谎要切舌头的！
你们这些蓝色的狗很想试试吧！
Where the truth is all over the net.
What is it to hide?
Its no more the old citizens.
It's the fearless Malaysians now.
Bite on that PM.
Bite it hard.

Jangan buat buat tak tau.
Kamu buat tak tau buat gila takpe.
Citizen mu TAHU.

oooooo!!!
I'm feeling so pissed right now!
But I can't do ANYTHING!
=.=
*sigh..
Harm the innocent,
burn in hell,
burn in well.

This is not a small matter anymore,
whoever thought to heal this problem,
is making it worse,
now Malaysia is all over world wide news if not mistaken,
supporters are also all over outside of Malaysia.
GILA SIAL.
cheh.

UNDERSTAND THE CONSEQUENCES.












JW

dream

It was quite long ago I dreamt this.
But I remember this the most.
I was rescuing a snail being eaten from a cat.
Then the cat...
mutates right in front of me.
HAHA..

Interesting..

9.7.2011 - 3.50pm

Ahh... interesting.
A very shy kid from my class.
I don't really put any attention of what he do.
But I came across of his profile pic in Facebook.
All I wanted to do was to click in and like it.
But then I started browsing his other pictures.
Some shots of him were really nice.
He seems photogenic. o.o

The cute hair patch and the nose patch.
So cute.
He's really shy in front of others,
and mostly sleeps in class.
But not in the photos.
Cool.
I like his personality. =D really.. INTERESTING.

Then I came to a thought:
Does he have a blog?


And the next thing I know was clicking on his info tab on his Facebook page.
Ahh.. There really is a blog.
But only a recent one.
He doesn't write much in it.
And one of his recent blog pose was about the memory of losing the girl he loved a lot.
Ahh I somehow felt really bad for him.

-

I went jogging today morning.. ==
It's my only way out from going to that stupid cadet activity.
OH JUDY!~
I hate seeing annoying faces.
Anyway. Consider me as an anti social person.
I'm starting to worry how am I going to mix around with the people i meet at college next time.
*sigh
The places I love best are less people around.

Best:  In front of my computer, in the middle of the night.
no one watches you or cares what you do,
ignoring if there was a presence of a soul,


But come to think of it,
I some times feel lonely too.

I feel much more comfortable drawing when no one's around me.

My recent sketches.
I'm gonna go sketch a part of my weird dream that I'm gonna put up.

JW

8.7.2011

Oh JUDY...
给人放了飞机的感觉超...speechless.

6/7/2011

Breathing heavily...
Openning my eyes..
blue ceiling comes to view.
I quickly got up.
realizing i was in my uniform and a big aquarium is actually inside the marble ground of my weird surroundings.
I continue to breathe heavily.
Starting to worry where am I.
Suddenly realize CH was beside me.
I asked if I could leave.
Then I slowly realize I was surrounded by XH's classmates, her friends.
They gave me disgusted looks.
Like they were annoyed by my presence.

CH say I can leave by diving into the big aquarium.
The aquarium was filled with weird fishes.
Suddenly another lady appears from behind.
She throws a dead body into the water.
A fish looking animal in the water charges at the corpse's head.
it sucks it clean leaving a clean up at the neck of the body.

CH slowly disappears.
So are the others.

I wake.

A quick sketch of my dream.

11.6.11 0031

sigh...
I still don't really know how to digital paint..
-.- ...
this is what i got so far..

I'm not good in fashion clothings =.=
so ... ignore her shirt. haha=.= ...
i wish to improve more..
this is even worst..
i tried colouring YanZhi today..
end up like this..

YanZhi is suppose to be casting magic here in the pic.

No matter..
I WILL HUNT TO IMPROVE!!
GAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA!!!

JW